The victim apparently first had been attacked by a larger knife. At least, that’s the supermarket tabloid version of a testimonial for a new knife being touted by Backpacker.
According to authorities such as iNaturalist, and common sense, there are no cabbage palms in northern California, leaving investigators puzzled regarding the circumstances that led to this inexplicable scenario.
The weapon, a Leatherman “FREE” K4X, (shown below) actually costs less than $100, and is not “free” in the common usage of the word, adding another wrinkle to this bizarre report.
The condition of the victim and location of the assailant, known only as A. Tester, are not known at this time. Hikers in northern California are advised travel in groups and keep an eye out for suspicious activity. The victim, described only as “tough and stringy” could be anywhere. Do not attempt to render aid — get a GPS location and report it to iNaturalist.